the new years. There were a few of us who didn't think that we would all still be alive at the end of 2012, let alone welcoming 2013 with noise, chaos and apparently plenty of garbage all over the streets.
Forgive me for the lack of enthusiasm. Not that I don't welcome the coming of a new years and new beginnings. I personally was asleep before the countdown even began. But i guess to each person their own, no?
2013 actually marks the end of my 1st semester as a masters student, and even though i'm a bit more enlightened on the matter than 4 months ago, i can't say i've totally shaken the fear of undergoing the next 3 semesters. I think i spent pretty much 80% percent of the time reading and understanding. I did do a few labs here and there, which thank god didn't turn out so badly. I do believe once i've gotten a hold of how to prepare my samples things will fall in line. Thus, one of my new years resolution is to give a little more effort into my research, and try to overcome this fear i have of failing or looking stupid. I need to start thinking of it as a learning process. Not as some sort of test where i need to prove myself. Also, i need to stop this bad habit of procrastinating. It's a constant enemy, that i need to get under control.
Aside from this 2012 has been a year where i have faced scary monetary difficulties, which was never so close felt before, ever since i began matriculation at 19. Now that i am no longer sponsored, living away from home and struggling to pay my way through my masters, the importance of money is coming into a whole new light for me. I am currently applying for a sponsorship which would be able to help with my tuition and such. Nevertheless, second new years resolution would be to properly manage my funds, and to make sure that i will always try to save, no matter how little, for any emergency needs, which seem to come more often than not these days.
Thirdly, while filling out a form online the other day my age was pre-filled as 25 after I had typed in my IC number, which kind of gave me a scare. It was not more than 2 months ago that i had only turned 24. And to top things off, later that week my mom out of the blue (while waiting in our car for the vet to open) was discussing with me the topic of searching for a significant other and settling down. Not that this hasn't passed my mind before, seeing that it's almost impossible to miss new wedding photos on facebook every other week. Oh but don't think that i am at all bitter about this, because i am honestly happy for those who have actually found their jodoh early in life. And so the third new year resolution is.................. to take better care of myself and to better myself as a person. Thought it would be getting me a man and planning my own wedding did you? Well if that is the what is written in the heavens than who am i to say no. But i'm starting with something that i can control. Which is me and my own self esteem. Because how can you love and care for someone if you can't love and care for yourself?
Of course the usual resolutions, which must always be remembered, to istiqomah in my dean, to better my faith and to become someone worthy in the eyes of my creator Insya'allah.
So i hope we will all try hard for our resolutions this year. And may every year bring us closer to the person we want to become. =)