Is it me?

Ever met someone that you felt uncomfortable with without any concrete reason as to why?

They say don't judge a book by it's cover. They also say the first impression is the most important. Honestly I don't tend to judge at face value. But usually one conversation is enough to form my opinion on someone. This doesn't mean however that I don't know how to remain civil.

But then this uncomfortable feeling still remains. Sometimes it's so strong that I can almost feel my body cringe. That feeling where the tension in the air can almost be cut with a knife. These kinds of people I prefer to avoid and to be fair I've only encountered a handful in my 23 years. There are also some people I find disturbing and yet still be able to communicate and converse in a normal manner. So what is it about the former group that makes me so uncomfortable?

I've tried to group them together to see if it's actually me that has an aversion to a set of traits that this group has in common. But they're quite different in personality and manner. Probably neither party is at fault. I guess some people are just like oil and water and some must agree to disagree. I keep wondering if he or she feels that same awkward air that i do whenever we meet. Sometimes I even wonder if the human body gives off some sort of chemical when stressed which can be detected by people in the surrounding area. However off topic that may be.

But being in close quarters with this counterpart really does to put my stress levels up. Maybe i'm just over thinking things. It's best i focus on more important matters at hand..

I just have..

so much feels for the SHINHWA comeback.

SHINHWA is ♥

Some things never change..

I wonder how old I have to be in order to look my age..

Honestly though.

Two people in the last week didn't believe me when i said i was 24. Well technically still 23 until October but i think you know what i mean. It was actually kind of funny seeing that both girls on separate occasions had the same reaction. eyes widening, jaw dropping and exclamation of "serious?!"

I kid you not -_-v.

Oh and in addition to that, during my uni years I'd often get questions like
"orang kelantan ke?" or "dari Serawak ek?" Well just yesterday i can now add " adik orang Terengganu ke?" to my repertoire. I'm endlessly curious on whether its in the way I talk or just the way I look that urges complete strangers to guess my origin ^^v

I swear..

I dreamt that my supervisor had come up to me and said,

"i have a project in mind for you"


And i only realized it was a dream, when I came into office this morning.
I must be losing my mind.

ermm.. kahwin?

Syukur Alhamdulillah,

it's been 3 days since I have official become a research assistant at Makmal Penyelidikan UPM Bernas. Definitely a far cry from the double lion atmosphere I've been putting up with for the past 8 months. No unnecessary stress or put downs. How stark the difference is between education, and the lack there of. -_-v

Even though i'm still trying to grasp what the scope for my masters will be, just being around people who are busy discussing processing, analytical processes and thesis related problems is already getting me in the mood. I feel so motivated to the point that i get slightly jealous of those who have something to complain about ^^v. But it's strangely gratifying to know that i'll be like them soon. Slowly but surely trying to get my life together.

And with the new job of course comes my new home. Well to be fair if home is where the heart is than this would be considered my temporary pad. According to Zafu i have 'officially moved out' which seemed ridiculous to me at the time. It still seems a bit funny when i think about it. I mean i still plan to go home almost every week anyways XD But i guess this would be the first time that i lived outside of home or dormitory while fending for myself.

It's strange. All my housemates are regular cooks with means of transport, while I rely on processed food and my own two legs to get me anywhere. Not that i'm proud to state this so plainly -_-. It does make me want to try to cook more. I think i'd get the hang of it after a few tries. It'll be my new resolution for 2012. heheh

To take things further 2 of my housemates are already close to marriage. One being my roomate 25 and the other a student younger than myself. So talks of hantaran, mertua and all the likes becomes a normalcy. But when it comes to things more private I end up just sitting there laughing along with their suggestive jokes without really giving much input into the matter all the while thinking aaaah so this is how it is... Not that i feel uncomfortable with the whole thing. It just feels really strange to me.

Funny how those kinds of things barely register in my brain. Maybe I'm a late bloomer. That's probably it. I wonder if when i do seriously consider marriage if I would talk about it so freely with other people? Haha, whatever it is, I think it'll still be quite sometime before that happens ^^

I have come to the realization that..

Proofreading a paper, can suck the soul out of you.

That is all.

My Heart goes *pitter patter* When a Guy..

plays the guitar

touches his hair when he's nervous

becomes embarrassed 
plays with kids
changes gear in a manual car
cries 

is eloquent

asks if i'm alright

wears kain pelekat to the mosque

is professional

has a deep voice

has long fingers

looks me in the eye

whispers

can cook

listens to my favorite song

loves cats

New Chapter..

I sent in my resignation letter a couple weeks ago. 

In truth I had wanted to send it along with a separate personal letter which touches on how a company is supposed to treat its employees, but i digressed.

Now i'm currently at a crossroads on whether to

1. Become an RA for Lect A. before continuing my masters under her or..

2. Becoming a master student directly under Lect. B

Option 1:

The pros is that i'm already quite familiar with Lect A and her style of work with her students. Being an RA also lets me brush up on my skills seeing that i've been a bit dormant for the past 6 months. Also RA means salary which is definitely a plus. And of course two of my friends are already attached to her so working and learning from each other would be a lot less stressful.

Cons are, I'd have to wait awhile to do my masters. Accommodations are also a bit hard seeing that i can't exactly commute without a license or car. Not having transportation really hurts T-T. I'll probably have to get a room somewhere around serdang.. -_-v

Option 2:

The pros is that the masters offered is actually something i'm into; Nutritional Biochem. And I would probably become a student immediately which gives me the option of asking for boarding in UPM. (A much preferred choice than staying outside of course)

The cons are, well to be fair i'll be going to see Lect B. next week so I haven't really gotten all the facts straight yet. I'm not too familiar with her, and don't know any students under her. And i'm also unsure about the funding as well as if there are any allowances. 

Honestly, my mind set at the moment is just to finish up my masters. I want to be at least done with that by the time i'm 25 so that i can think about a career or family for that matter ^^v. Dunno if that kind of thinking is any good for a researcher though. It's not like i'm planning to do a half assed job (pardon the language) or anything. It's just not my favorite thing. I'm sure i'll manage though. There's no shortcut in life anyways right? fufufufu

Hwaiting!!