What Completes Me

What makes a person who they are?

I think thats a whole lot of puzzle pieces to even begin to put together. But here's a stab of what i think makes me who i am. In retrospect, 22 years might not be so much for some. And one could argue that i have a long way to go to really know WHO i am.. But since thats practically my whole life, i guess that can be excused ^^ So heres a rough list of things that i think complete me, though... that kinda sounds a bit.. goooey. But yeah, in other words things that keep me sane for the most part.

First and foremost. The indefinite 3 F's


1. I'm pretty sure Faith needs no explaining. In this case of course i mean religion. I think its a given for most people. And though I am far for being the role model, i honest to god try my best. To err is human, but i try to catch myself before i go too far down that road. I am grateful though that certain encounters in my life have made a huge impact on how i understand and view faith. And I'm thankful for the people who have had a hand in that. Namely a certain Sister Fatima who used to teach me in Sunday School at the mosque. Not to say she was the only one, but she is someone i could never forget.

2. Though family should also speak for itself, my family would probably need a little more explaining than most. Lets just say our family of six doesn't really fit into the conventional mold. Heck some people would even say we aren't normal. But i guess normal is kinda subjective. So what may be a normal everyday routine for my family, may call for creased brows and disapproving looks from others. Don't get me wrong. I Love my family. Just like everyone else. It's just summed up with a whole lot of other complicated feelings as well. Nevertheless, family is often the major molding factor for any individual.

3. Friends. What's the saying 'you can never have too may friends'? I wonder sometimes if thats true. Huhu i'm probably sounding like some antisocial depressed kid. But yeah, friends. One of my weak spots really. And probably one of my most apparent character flaw. I can pretty much get along with just anybody. Serious. Its just i have a line that i don't cross. I have really good friends, spanning from elementary school up to college. It's just i don't have very many. And i'm not good at keeping in touch. Secluded? Kind of. But not intentionally. Sometimes i get really nervous even around friends. Which i'm not too sure is entirely normal. Anxiety issues maybe. Dunno, but friends, good friends, have been a real boost for my sanity. I appreciate a good companion. and i should try harder i guess on my part to not become so detached from people. huhu.

4. My babies. (kittens above are not mine btw) Ok i know, "who in their right mind would include cats as part of who they are?" You'd probably consider that as a hobby or something along those lines. But seriously, they're a huge part of who i am. I don't know how to explain it. Cats have been a part of me ever since i was born and continuously throughout my life. I think it would be safe to say i've seen more than a hundred come to pass. There is just this feeling you get when you see them and when you hold them. (but i'm guessing this only pertains to certain people) I can't say it's not entirely maternal like, but then again i know for a fact my brothers feel the exact same way so i'm really not sure. You just feel like you want to take care of them. Keep them out of harms way. There have been times when i've actually turned to them for emotional support. Crazy i know. But in my family thats more like normal. And don' t get me started about talking to them. See the thing is, i know they're listening and for the most part they act like they understand. But this short paragraph does not do justice to my pretty felines. I'll put up another post on my babies later.. ^^

5. Music. i for one think that music is the ultimate universal language ^^. Who doesn't listen to music in this day and age? And I'm pretty sure people listen in a myriad of different languages and genres too. I listen to everything as long as it sounds good. I mean its great if there's lyrics that i can understand, but sometimes just the tone and manipulation of voice can tell you so much already to what's being said. Sometimes i even like not knowing what i hear. But when you get good music with good lyrics, now those are the ones that really get to you. Personally my siblings and i prefer korean music. Why? Hurm... the mixture of good music, excellent voices, charisma, and star quality to the max? Who wouldn't? Anyone oblivious to the hallyu wave is just not living on planet earth. Simple as that. Though it's safe to say that i was smitten more than a decade ago even before the hallyu wave came to be.. ^^ 

Music also leads to another important rather recent part of my life known as fandom. Yes fandom. It's crazy unbelievable but my everyday actions just negates the purpose of me denying to be a fangirl ^^v Owh but i really don't like that word for some reason >_< Its kind of an obsession i guess. Does it make me who i am? I would think so, since it occupies a lot of my mind these days ( especially a certain kim jaejoong *drops dead*). You would think a final year student on the verge of beginning her final year project would have something else to focus on. But i'm telling you. It's an addiction i'm not viable to ditch soon. And not sure i want to at that. Its just so much more than ogling at 5 men generously blessed in the looks department. (Though ogling is half the fun ^^) It is so weird i dunno if it can ever be justified.

6.Books. I think i have mentioned my love for the written words in my previous entries. Also my love to write them. Not that i'm particularly good in that area....yet ^_~. I like reading. I like it quite a bit. Though i haven't had much time or the resources to these days. So i turn to the internet for a fanfic or other. They are the best! But still.. nothing beats a good ol' book. So many things to read it's kind of amazing. Having peoples fantasies and imaginations put down on paper for others to share. I remember how often my siblings and i used to go to the public library, or how I'd listen to my sister read aloud a book to me before bed. And this was in middle school. People always think thats kinda weird. Only pre-schoolers get their books read to them. Wait till they hear she still feeds me while i sit on her lap at 22 LOL!! but i digress XD

This list is probably subject to change. I can't think of anything else right now so i'll have to stop here Xp

No comments: